[Hello people of the network! Thank you for tuning in today! Today, we are taking a look around Violet City. The sun is out and shining, and it seems like the cloud front is moving along. We have a light breeze coming in from the West, so hold onto your hats and skirts, ladies and gentlemen. The temperature is very mild, and the trees are turning into a nice shade of orange, red, and yellow. Fall is here, folks, and get ready for-- Oh wait, this isn't the weather channel and that bowl-cut teenager isn't a weather man? Just what the hell was all waving around with the camera then? 

Oh, you mean he was having some technical difficulties? Well, why didn't you say so!

But hello people of the network! Here is what you're really here for! The camera finally stops shaking and flying everywhere as it is now sitting on some ledge of the Pokemon Center's window outside. It seems as if the owner of this Pokegear is no other than Souji himself and you can now get a clear shot of him and...a Magikarp? Yup, that's a Magikarp already, sitting right in his hands. It's just flailing around and occasionally going "Magi, Magikaaaarp", slapping him in the face with its tail now and then.  Oh God, you guys know where this is going. All that flailing and slapping that it's doing doesn't look too good....]

I found one of these a while back actually in Cherry-- [slap] --grove. Never really found the chance to set from its ball until a few days ago.

[And guess who found out it was actually literally one of the most useless Pokemon ever? Sorry Yosuke, Souji got you beat in the most useless Pokemon battle.]

People said that-- [slap] --they don't do anything, but if you raise them hard enough, they'll turn out to be good part-- [slap] --ners.

[That or raging snakes that like eating little children in their sleep, but heeee'll ignore that for now. The main reason why he caught one of these was because he wanted to try his best to grab the potential out of it and make it feel useful. That and a challenge was good now and then. But...]

...It hasn't really done anything in battle, other than just splashing-- [slap] --...around... I really-- [slap] --...didn't think it'll be this bad.

[All that splashing around makes battling juuuuuust a bit hard. Man, when he heard it was useless, he just kinda thought "oh, it's useless cause it's hard to train and weak" and not "it's useless because it does nothing." Seriously, just look at it right now. It's just flailing around. Oh God, why is this is the most derpy Pokemon ever? Was Johto just trying trying to toy with him? First the berries, that glitch Pokemon, and now this Magikarp...Yeah, Johto was definitely trying to toy with him.]

Is there any way to..train it? Other than letting it eat all my food and stare at me. The most it does is jumps around like-- [slap] --...this. That and it keeps-- [slap] --...hitting me instead of anything else. I'll appreciate any advice for-- [slap] --...it.

[Is Souji getting a bit annoyed? Yes, yes he is. His cheeks are starting to get red from all that slapping it's doing. He actually seems a bit more embarrassed by the Pokemon more than anything though. He never had to deal with something this derpy and everything before. Network, you gotta help him out here. He walks over to the ledge to reach for his gear.]

Than-- Wait, ah--!

[OH FFFFFFFFFFF NO GET BACK HERE SEIRYUU NO DON'T DO THA-- Please hold as Souji's Magikarp has just flailed out of his hands and knocked the Pokegear off the ledge onto the floor. You can have a nice view of the dirt floor for a few seconds as the Magikarp just splashing around then on top of the Pokegear before the screen goes black. And all you hear is just that "Magi, Magi, Magikaaaaaaarp" and-- if you listen really carefully over that --Souji's quiet "A;LSKDFJASDFFSASDL;FFFFFFFFFFFFF" before the feed shuts down. SEIRYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU]