[ As hard as Souji wanted to hide it, it's been increasingly obvious that Souji hasn't been sleeping lately. With each passing day that he wasn't sleeping, he was slipping up more than he wanted to and others have noticed. Ardyn has been suspecting that Souji hasn't been completely honest with his feelings or worries. Tatsuma asked why he was up so early during summer vacation. Shin told him to his face that he looked like shit. Yosuke is noticing the pattern and catches him in his lies. Too many people have been catching on and even if Yu hasn't said anything, Souji imagines that he must have been catching on as well. ]
[ They've been making progress lately. He approached Yu to talk about the reincarnation theory and to share whatever memories he had. They've been more open with communicating with each other and even with the small misfortune with their most recent post on the network, things seemed to be going well. ]
[ But then Souji got back all those memories and items and things just fell apart again. ]
[ He knows that he should have told Yu. They literally just discussed this, about how relieving it is to share these thoughts and feelings, and that they shouldn't keep any more secrets from each other. He was the one who first brought up everything so why is he the one to go back to all this secrecy and to put on a strong face and lie about how he's fine? Because if he doesn't talk about these memories, if he doesn't address them, then maybe he can find some kind of comfort in the thought that he could deny them. That maybe they're not true. It's far too cruel, to think that he once had something like a real family back in that universe, in that timeline, and that it was taken away from him just like that. And if he is to accept that these memories are real and that he is just one half of the person in his memories, that Yu is the other half, then it is to accept that these experiences happened to Yu as well and he can't believe that. He can't and he won't, but a part of him knows that this is the truth and refuses to let him sleep. ]
[ He can't bring himself to throw away the photos or the items that Retrospec gave him, almost like they're trying to mock him for the latest memories he got back. It feels like he'd be throwing away her entire existence if he did and so, he holds onto them. At first, he takes greater care at hiding them away in their room, tucking them into books or under the papers on his desk, but as he got less and less sleep, he became clumsy. He became inattentive and he let one photo just barely peek out from under his pillow. The books were not quite put away properly on the bookshelf where he'd normally put them and little corners of a photo or paper medal stuck out from under his papers. In his exhausted state, he didn't notice his mistakes and when Yu finds them and texts him with a picture of all of his secrets laid out before him, Souji has no one but himself to blame. ]
Okay.
[ That's all he texts back before he drops everything (not that he was doing anything important asides from sitting around and pretending that everything's okay) and drags himself back home. It takes everything in his willpower not to hold his right wrist at all during the walk, not to touch the childish paper bracelet worn underneath a thin long sleeve, and he manages to keep both hands by his side all the way back to the dormitories. Silently, he opens the front door and steps in, ready to find Yu and to deal with the consequences of his actions. ]
no subject
[ They've been making progress lately. He approached Yu to talk about the reincarnation theory and to share whatever memories he had. They've been more open with communicating with each other and even with the small misfortune with their most recent post on the network, things seemed to be going well. ]
[ But then Souji got back all those memories and items and things just fell apart again. ]
[ He knows that he should have told Yu. They literally just discussed this, about how relieving it is to share these thoughts and feelings, and that they shouldn't keep any more secrets from each other. He was the one who first brought up everything so why is he the one to go back to all this secrecy and to put on a strong face and lie about how he's fine? Because if he doesn't talk about these memories, if he doesn't address them, then maybe he can find some kind of comfort in the thought that he could deny them. That maybe they're not true. It's far too cruel, to think that he once had something like a real family back in that universe, in that timeline, and that it was taken away from him just like that. And if he is to accept that these memories are real and that he is just one half of the person in his memories, that Yu is the other half, then it is to accept that these experiences happened to Yu as well and he can't believe that. He can't and he won't, but a part of him knows that this is the truth and refuses to let him sleep. ]
[ He can't bring himself to throw away the photos or the items that Retrospec gave him, almost like they're trying to mock him for the latest memories he got back. It feels like he'd be throwing away her entire existence if he did and so, he holds onto them. At first, he takes greater care at hiding them away in their room, tucking them into books or under the papers on his desk, but as he got less and less sleep, he became clumsy. He became inattentive and he let one photo just barely peek out from under his pillow. The books were not quite put away properly on the bookshelf where he'd normally put them and little corners of a photo or paper medal stuck out from under his papers. In his exhausted state, he didn't notice his mistakes and when Yu finds them and texts him with a picture of all of his secrets laid out before him, Souji has no one but himself to blame. ]
Okay.
[ That's all he texts back before he drops everything (not that he was doing anything important asides from sitting around and pretending that everything's okay) and drags himself back home. It takes everything in his willpower not to hold his right wrist at all during the walk, not to touch the childish paper bracelet worn underneath a thin long sleeve, and he manages to keep both hands by his side all the way back to the dormitories. Silently, he opens the front door and steps in, ready to find Yu and to deal with the consequences of his actions. ]