[oh good, an incident he's told no one about yet, because he sure was embarrassed!!!!]

... One time, while I was on night shift, I was breaking up this bar fight. This drunk woman came over, tried to shove her number down my shirt, and then threw up on the ground next to me.

One of the guys I was trying to stop slipped in it. And then tried to climb out using my leg as a ladder, getting it all over me. The lady still wanted me to call her.