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My calendar has been marked. May I also request that we mark another date where we can have a magic showdown?

[ ... Souji's assuming that Ardyn is talking about magic tricks because wat. Souji can just do some sweet card tricks and Ardyn can just cut off his finger and heal it back on while Souji's screaming what the FUCK ]

[If he were a slightly more sadistic person, he might actually consider that. Totally a family-friendly show, right?

But maybe he should correct him while he can.]

While I would be more than happy to do that with you, I don't think we're talking about the same magic. Instead, skew your imagination towards fantasy novels. Movies. Video games.

[ Totally family friendly. Look, Souji can do that simple cut and moving thumb trick and Ardyn can actually legit cut off his thumb to do it. Souji would have major respect for him. ]

Flying? Raising the dead? Setting yourself on fire?

If only it were so exciting!

Healing wounds, actually.

We're talking about magically healing wounds and not simply sticking a bandaid over a cut and saying "healed", correct?

[ Look, Souji's gotta make sure with Ardyn... Who knows if Ardyn is really joking right now ]

Yes, I mean magically healing wounds. No band-aids require.

Though there's a momentarily feeling of pain, it otherwise works like a charm.

[Surprisingly, he's not joking this time.]

Does this mean if I give myself a papercut right now that you'll be able to heal it for me?

[ brb finding some nice paper to do this and then barge into Ardyn's home to get it healed for free. Haha, suck it, American healthcare. His uncle can heal FOR FREE ]

Yes.

However! A disclaimer: This is NOT permission for you to find ways to harm yourself, or otherwise become more reckless because you know you have an uncle who can heal.

[The papercut thing is fine! Because it's so small! But let's not start a trend, Souji.]

I would never do something as reckless as that. Don't you trust me, uncle?

My dear boy, I've seen the things you'll eat. Where your own health is concerned, I trust you as far as I can throw you.

Which I'm assuming is quite far unless you're calling me fat and heavy (｡•́︿•̀｡)

But speaking of the things I eat... I wonder if your healing powers work on simple stomach aches?

I'd never throw you "quite far" even if I could. Unlike the cats you're so fond of, I'm not certain if you'd be able to land in such an elegant manner, and I'd hate to injure you.

It might. You're not suffering from one of those now, are you?

I'll probably be suffering from one in about five minutes

[ ... yeah, is Ardyn even surprised by now ]

Souji, dear boy, please stop.

[JUST STOP.]

If your stomach actually aches, please come over. I can see what I can do.

I'll be over soon. I think the rotten tomato is starting to get to me.

It looked okay at first...

Who taught you that it was acceptable to eaten rotten food, I wonder.

[may the food poisoning gods be merciful to his nephew today........]

I'll be waiting.

It's a test for knowledge, uncle. Curiosity the Cat taught me.

[ But shortly afterwards, just like Souji said, he starts to get a tummy ache five minutes later and he arrives at Ardyn's door, ringing the doorbell with one hand across his stomach. Oh no, why this, this is the worst. ]

[Souji. He told you so.

He doesn't even have to wait a full ten seconds before Ardyn swings the door open and ushers his nephew in. He takes in the state of the boy -- obviously looking a bit pained, with his hand over his stomach.]

And how's that rotten tomato settling with you now?

[ Ardyn has every right to say that to Souji's face because Ardyn did tell him so... Souji just strolls in but waits for wherever Ardyn wants him to go. He continues to hold onto his stomach, looking kind of pale. ]

Surprisingly, not so well. I really don't know why this is happening.

[ A little joke will help, right? Hahahaha oh god this hurts ]

[They make it to the living room, and Ardyn takes a seat on the couch. He motions over at Souji to sit next to him, his expression a strange mixture of worry and vague "I knew this was going to happen"...]

I do wonder. Here, sit. And then...

[Well, he extends a hand.] Take my hand. Your ache will become my own.

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