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[tarotcards]

souji narukami

(๑✪ᆺ✪๑)✧ nya

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[impulsives]

[ Shin will take the tissue box wordlessly, wiping his face after taking a ply out. It's clear that he's still shaken. The smell was still burnt in strongly in his mind, the smile of burnt flesh, the explosions resounding in the distance.

The panic of people as they try to shove themselves into the shuttle.

But... ]

What... scared me the most, though, was not what happened to my family.

It was my reaction to it.

Screaming at the sky with that much anger and sorrow...

[ ... ]

I've... I've never felt such raw emotions in me before, and that was honestly the scariest thing.

[tarotcards]

[ Souji stays seated next to Shin, continuing to rub his back until he finishes but he doesn't move his hand away afterwards. He keeps it there as a form of support and he frowns when Shin mentions his reaction. He thinks back to a previous conversation they've had and he would normally hesitate to mention it but this is Shin. They have to be honest with each other. ]

... maybe this is why you've joined the military. To stop another battle like this ever happening again.

[impulsives]

...Yeah.

[ He can feel the warmth of Souji's hand, as he sits up slightly straighter from his hunched position earlier. The foul taste is gone from his mouth, mostly. And he's still breathing raggedly. But otherwise he's a bit better than before. ]

I can definitely see why he's part of the military.

[ ...Dissociation. It's slight, but it's there, the fact that he just referred to his own past as if he's talking about another character in a series. ]

Hey, is it weird, to want to distance yourself from your past self? If it doesn't align with what you expected it to be?

[tarotcards]

[ Until Shin makes it clear that he doesn't want Souji's hand on his back, Souji will keep it there. The dissociation doesn't slip past him and when Shin asks, he just shakes his head. ]

No, I think that's understandable. I knew someone who did the exact same thing. [ They're no longer around but he does know one such person who had the exact same feelings. ] You don't have to be defined by the person in your memories.

[impulsives]

...Yeah, I know. But still...

[ .........There's just a long silence as Shin trailed off. A slight dawn of realization that honestly followed a logical conclusion. If Shin's a member of a military organization, and the world was in a state of war... ]

Would that mean I'll start getting memories of a battlefield that had nothing to do with this place?

[tarotcards]

[ Souji hesitates to reply because he knows that Shin most likely already knows the answer but he just nods. ]

You might... but if it does, you know you can come talk to me about them, right? You don't have to deal with them alone.

[ The irony of Souji saying this, especially what happens to him in a few weeks after this thread... ]