tarotcards | IC INBOX ➟ RECOLLE

[ Ah, Mako........ Souji wonders if Mako has heard about the later incident, the one with Yosuke... ]

A little. I'm not going out anymore at least.

[through an incident report, yeah......]

a little? what happened? maybe i can help.

[ The best way to find out... ]

No, it's all right. It's nothing that I can't handle but thank you for the offer.

... i want to give you space. i get it. probably more than you think.
but what you're doing is the opposite of handling it. and i'd be mad at myself for not offering to help
especially if i gave you enough space to walk into traffic again

Edited 2017-08-02 21:35 (UTC)

You don't have to worry about me walking into traffic again. I've decided to just stay home until this passes over.

I really appreciate it, Mako, but I don't know if anyone can help right now. This is something I have to deal with myself.

you won't know until you try.

[ How long can Souji try to keep dodging this until Mako tells him to shut up and just spill the beans? Let's see... ]

Everything involves my memories right now. Or visions, whatever you want to call them. I don't know if anyone is able to handle that asides from myself.

i imagine it's like any other type of problem... you talk it out.

souji, i consider us friends. maybe i'm asking a lot for you to trust me, but trust me. there's nothing you could say that i can't handle. and if it's something that i can help you shoulder and get some sleep... i'm willing to do that.

[ It takes a long while before Mako even gets a response from Souji. It almost seems like Souji just refuses to answer but then after ten minutes... ]

... All right.

Do you promise not to tell anyone else though?

[wow, that... worked. he's a little relieved-- and kind of glad souji listened to him.]

i promise. this stays between us.

[ And it takes another ten minutes before Souji even sends Mako anything. It's a mix between trying to get himself to share and to press that send button and how to word it so it doesn't sound as bad as it is, so... ]

I got a memory of my little sister.

She died.

[ Short, simple, and straight to the point... ]

[it takes him a little bit to answer back. he weighs his options here, and then types back:]

i'm sorry

[at first, that's it, as he debates back and forth for a minute, trying to figure out where he goes from here. maybe that is enough, but he wants to say more.]

grief's... hard. i hope you're not punishing yourself because of it.

It's hard not to.

To punish myself, I mean. She was my little sister. I should have been there for her.

[he pauses, and then exhales.]

i thought the same thing, when my parents were killed. but it's not... helpful. it won't change what you know. it just makes it more likely you won't be able to help the next person.

like your brother... i don't know him that well, but i bet he's worried about you.

[ souji... did not know about mako's parents but he can see how much mako cares about him and this friendship to admit something that big and probably painful to him. it makes souji feel all the more guilty that he didn't want to talk in the first place. ]

... but what if you've already hurt that next person?

[ referring to his brother... ]

is that your brother?

Yeah.

I hurt Yu.

but you know why he's hurt. i can't tell you exactly how to handle that, because you and yu are different from me and bolin. you guys have a different way of handling things and it works for you.

but i do think you're going to run into the problem of having to catch up on all the fights and arguments you weren't able to have as kids. you're gonna have to talk a lot and you'll have to learn that when you do stupid stuff that hurts you, it's gonna hurt him too.

that's just part of being close to someone.

[says the man who is now... probably deathly afraid of disappointing souji, now. he'll never be able to follow his own advice here.]

But what if you don't know how to talk to them? Or if they even want to listen?

... I know you don't have the answers so I'm sorry. I just feel lost.

the answer is you try anyway.

[he thinks about whether he should add something more, make it clearer what he means.]

do you trust your brother?

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