tarotcards | IC INBOX ➟ RECOLLE

[ he allows her to tip his head upwards, doing nothing else but letting his hands stay by his head. he doesn't move but he doesn't exactly look at her either ]

... I got into a little fight. It's not as bad as it actually seems.

[ which is the truth. although an ugly shade of red and purple colour a majority of his left cheek, his personas were able to repair most of the damage. the pain has lessened and the cuts have been healed, leaving only small scrapes behind. ]

[Her fingers are cool and gentle as they sweep over the bruised skin, careful not to press too harshly.]

Over what?

[ despite his personas' efforts to dull the pain and rosalind's light touches, he still flinches yet he continues to stay unmoving for her. he falls silent at her question and doesn't answer for a few seconds. how much does he tell her? does he tell her what he did right before he got dragged into the fight? or does he tell her the circumstances leading up to the fight? ]

[ after another second, he decides to just spill everything ]

Tatsuma, my boyfriend, was seeking someone. He was hurt, not thinking clearly, and wanted to take revenge for what happened. It eventually led him to a bar and he tried to harm the one whom he thought was responsible. I, along with a few others, tried to stop him, to convince him that this wasn't the way to handle it, but he didn't listen. He tried to stay and then... he got hit with a beer bottle over the head... I snapped and this is what happened.

[ he tilts his head slightly, moving his cheek against her fingertips. he pauses once more as if trying to hold himself back from talking but for some reason, everything just opens up like a dam. as if everything that he has been bottling up until this night has finally reached its limit, breaking and spilling in an ugly mess of emotions from sympathy to hopelessness ]

... I don't blame him for everything, though. I can understand how he feels. I was in the same situation as well. I... [ he breathes ] ...lost someone dear to me as well because of someone else. My friends wanted a solution, something to make them feel better for their and my loss and we came close. It nearly happened but it didn't. After that... I don't know. I don't know what we did.

[ the memory came to an end, of course, and the frustration and despair are evident in his voice. to never have the full story, the entire picture, and how they were able to pick themselves up-- how he was able to pick himself up... it makes him feel powerless ]

And now we're here, in this world, and Tatsuma is going through the same thing, and I don't know what to do... I don't know what to do to make it better.

[ his hands bundled up into tight fists and he closes his eyes, head lowering as he finally moves and reveals a side of weakness that he hardly shows ]

[For one long, horrible moment, she wonders if Souji's killed someone.

It's just that he says I don't know what we did and I don't know what to do, and Rosalind has an awful mental image of one of those Personas, large and intimidating, stained bloody. How hard would it be to kill with one of those? Not very, she imagines, and if it was a situation where he felt a gaping sense of loss, where he needed something to fill that void . . .

But no. No, he hasn't.]

You can start by sitting down.

[She says it softly, but there's a note of firmness there, making it clear this is an instruction.]

Tatsuma's story . . . was his person murdered? Was that the revenge he was seeking?

[(Later, she'll have to think on the fact her first instinct wouldn't have been to call the police, but rather help Souji).]

[ he doesn't try arguing back. he just does as she says, sitting on the nearby couch with such little energy in him that his shoulders slump and he looks like a child. his hands go together, linked with one another and his thumbs run over each other as he speaks ]

His grandparents... they were involved in a hit-and-run and Tatsuma was hellbent on trying to find the driver. I don't know what he wanted to do when he found them, if he wanted to do the same that they did to his grandparents, but he broke someone's leg just trying to get to them...

... I wouldn't put it past him if he wanted to do something dire.

[She sits next to him, a little ways away-- not quite touching him, but certainly not out of reach either. He does look like a child like this: small and closed off, terrified and unwilling to give voice to the emotion proper.]

Where is he now?

[ he doesn't look when she sits down next to him, staring right down at his hands as they continue to move. ]

At my house. He'll be staying with me until his parents organize what will happen with his living situation.

[Mm. Maybe that's for the best, and then again maybe it isn't. Rosalind considers that for a few seconds, staring absently at him.]

. . . you can't watch him every moment of every day. If he's that set on doing something horrid, you can't stop him. But . . . you can at least be there to listen to him.

[ at the sound of her words, at the sound of “you can’t stop him”, his hands tighten, gripping each other so hard that his knuckles go white. there’s truth in what she says, he can’t be there with tatsuma forever but to think that tatsuma might possibly go out and get into another altercation like this without souji around to help, for him to heal him when he gets himself hurt again, it terrifies him ]

But what can I do more than just listen? How do I convince him not to go out and do those things? I don’t want to come back home and find him gone, to know that he left, and might be off nearly getting himself hurt and I’m not there to help him to take him to the hospital that time.

Tell him.

[She hopes to god that's the right answer. It's not that she doesn't want to comfort him, she does, but she hasn't the faintest idea what to say. She's no emotional counselor; she's no idea what the right choice would be. All she can do is trust her own instincts and hope to god they're right.]

. . . tell him, and try to do your best to calm him down. But the truth is, Souji . . . he's his own person. You can't make him be safe. All you can do is try to give him advice.

[ when he comes to his senses in a second and realizes that he broke down in front of her, suddenly opening himself up and spewing his fears at her with little to no warning, he will apologize for all this. ]

I understand.

[ and that's all he says to that, feeling almost defeated. he was doing so well these past few months, getting over his own issues but now he feels like he's been kicked back down (and when all the issues with yu boils up in a few days, he will feel so lost). ]

... I'm sorry, professor, for suddenly springing this on you. I'm sure you didn't want to deal with any of-- this when you returned home.

Hush.

[It's true, she didn't particularly want to deal with this, but nor is she sorry she caught him. Rosalind watches him for a few seconds, then gently nudges him with one elbow.]

If I didn't want to listen, do you really imagine I would hesitate to kick you out?

[ and that’s enough to get souji to breathe out a single, small laugh. ]

I could definitely imagine you picking me up by the back of my shirt and physically tossing me out the door.

[ there’s a tiny smile on his face as he says this and after he spent the rest of the night with his head downwards, he looks up at rosalind with the same smile ]

... thank you, professor.

[She offers him a slight smile, there and gone, meant only for him. They're not done talking, not by a long shot, but so long as she's cheered him slightly, that's all that matters.]

Tell me more about him. I'm a little scandalized I'm only just hearing of this boy.

We’re not very open about our relationship. We tend to be rather private about it.

[ not for any particular reason. they’re just not the types to talk about themselves and broadcast it ]

What would you like to know?

[They have that in common, heaven knows. Rosalind settles back, adjusting to make herself a bit more comfortable on the couch. It's a little odd, settling in with him, but it's not an oddness she minds. She's still got on her work clothes, which helps; she doesn't know if she could do this in something casual.]

Whatever you feel like telling me. How you met, perhaps, or what draws you to him, or how long you've been together.

[ souji shifts on the couch to turn more towards her. he appreciates being to just be able to talk about tatsuma and why he's with him. even if they haven't been together for long, it's good for him to just to know why he asked tatsuma out in the first place and why souji would do all this for him. ]

We've only been dating for a few months now but he's... great. He's on the quiet side though and is rather passive, but he's kind. Thoughtful and always willing to help if he can.

[ so for tatsuma to suddenly change, to be so filled with vengeance to go out and nearly murder a man... it is a complete 180 from how he normally is ]

... I suppose what drew me in the first place was that he understood. He knew what it was like to be constantly moving, to have absent parents, and to lose people with each move. To feel like you're isolated from everyone else in an environment like that, I never truly thought I would have any friends or I'd make meaningful relationships. It was part of the reason why I tried to separate myself from others in Recolle when I first arrived, why I never truly reached out, but Tatsuma... He told me once that even if I moved away again, left the city, he would still keep in contact with me and that we'd still be friends.

It was... touching.

[She smiles faintly as she listens. It sounds . . . touching, really. He sounds sweet, sincere and dedicated in a way that Souji deserves. It makes her think of her own mystery man, the one who haunts her memories; that fierce, obsessive devotion . . . it's a sharp contrast to Souji's own sweet affection, but the dedication is the same.]

I'm glad, Souji.

[She really is.]

Now. More importantly: does he share your feline obsession?

[ and with that, souji actually lets out a small laugh. he was so unhappy earlier but just like that, she manages to get a chuckle out of him and his mood starts to get on a more even level ]

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the exact same fiery passion about cats like I do but he does like them enough. I’ll hopefully convert him completely into the way of the cat, however, just like I am slowly doing with you.

You are not, though as always I appreciate your relentless optimism.

[As if on cue, somewhere in the house Kawaii-san screams. It's an amiable scream; just letting Ros know that he's around, and that perhaps she ought to come find him. She pauses, but fortunately, he isn't so needy that he'll continue to scream. That's nice.]

Though I'm certain he knows what to get you for your half-year anniversary.

[A beat, and a memory stirs:]

Was this the boy you speaking of when you were feeding me that daddy nonsense? Or-- no, that was a high schooler, wasn't it.

[ when kawaii-san screams, souji just lets out another small chuckle. ]

No, that was a different person and it was a joke, but maybe I'll do it for real with Tatsuma. He's persuadable enough to probably agree.

So long as you both consent, that's all that matters.

[She rises as she says it, nodding to him.]

Come along. We'll put some frozen peas on that, get the swelling down. No cuts?

[ he was trying to crack a joke, trying to see if he could get a reaction out of her by mentioning another daddy kink but when she just passes through it, he's less disappointed and more impressed. hm, maybe he should say something more bewildering another time? but he shakes his head at her question ]

No, I was able to heal those but I suppose healing can't solve everything.

[ such as the bruising and some of the swelling ]

It's still rather handy in a pinch. I'm jealous.

[She says it lightly, though she wishes she hadn't. It brings to mind her own injuries-- healed over, yes, but still scarred, white and vivid. It brings back all those memories she steadfastly refuses to acknowledge, and she doesn't want to ever think about them.

So she makes herself busy, opening the freezer and fetching a bag of peas that are a little more freezerburned than they ought to be. Oh, well.]

How goes it with your Personas? Any new developments?

[ he follows her into the kitchen and leans against the counter once they get there. he tilts his head slightly to the side as he talks ]

I have gotten yet another new one. They seem to come every other month. They’re also differing from Yu’s Personas.

[ there’s a small frown as he says this ]

We used to share the same Personas for the first three but now we’re starting to get different ones.

IC INBOX ➟ RECOLLE

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)