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sorry

[That's it, that's the message. There really isn't much to add to this that wouldn't make it sound even more pathetic than it already does.]

You have nothing to apologize for.

normally i'd agree but
pretty sure this time's different

Why's that?

It didn't seem like you had any choice over what happened.

are you stupid??
i'll spell it out for you
i could've killed you
who cares if i meant to or not
it doesn't matter

But it does matter. It wasn't your intention and I know that if you had a choice in it, you wouldn't have done it at all.

I won't accept your apology because you don't need to give it.

bullshit
it's like me punching you and then saying it wasn't me, it was my fist
makes no sense

But was it your consciousness or will to punch me?

now you're just arguing semantics

[Which he honestly doesn't want to think about too much.]

fine have it your way
don't want an apology?
i take it back

...i don't think i need to tell you not to talk to anyone about that shit

Of course. This will be between us.

Can I ask what happened, though?

[Isn't that a million dollars question. What the fuck happened there, exactly? Normally, this would be the part where Ragna tells Souji it's none of his business, but he figures he deserves something more than that, if only as another form of an apology. Not that he can really give him much.]

dunno
wish that was me telling you nicely to piss off but
i have no idea what that... thing... was

["That thing". It's weird to refer to himself as such, but it's the only way he can describe "him" at the time.]

I'm assuming that was the first time it ever happened? Do you believe it'll happen again?

how the hell am i supposed to know that???

[There's a long pause between the messages here, presumably so Ragna can yell at and/or punch something in frustration.]

not first
if you include memories

[The admission doesn't come lightly and he regrets it as soon as he hits the send button.]

[ souji definitely notices the pauses and he knows the type of person that ragna is so he has a feeling that this isn't easy for ragna to admit ]

I know that this must be difficult to talk about but do you remember any details about it that could be useful? I want to help in whatever way I can.

"help"?
don't make me laugh
what are you gonna do, lock me up in a cage?

[For all the good it would do.]

No, but I must be able to do something. I have my Personas, you've seen them, so maybe they could help.

How did you switch back?

yeah
by putting me down

[He's only half-joking.]

not sure
it's kinda fuzzy
like i passed out and woke up normal?

I see.

If you ever turn into it again, I can restrain you. Keep you somewhere safe until you can turn back.

here's a novel idea
you stop sticking your nose into my shit
problem solved

[Like hell Ragna is letting him take the risk. He's trying to protect Souji, albeit in his own, tsun way.]

Ragna... I understand that if you don't want me to get involved. It is reasonable. But then I just want to put out the offer that I will always be here if you do need help in any way.

I want to help. Like you've helped me a few months ago.

[ referring to the time where ragna helped him after nearly getting hit by a car, giving him coffee, and keeping an eye on him. that has made a profound effect on him and he is willing to go the extra mile for ragna now ]

[That leaves Ragna at a loss for words for a moment. When was the last time anyone has told him something like this, if ever? Unwanted as the offer is, it's also oddly... comforting. He's hesitant to outright dismiss the sentiment because it feels too important for that, but more than anything, he doesn't want to make it look like he could ever need help.]

don't get all sappy on me now

and that's comparing apples to oranges
i just made you some coffee
big deal
that's my job

[Objectively speaking, it was more than that, but it still doesn't come even close to trying to deal with... that thing. Whatever that truly is.]

You did more than that. Pulling me away from that car, walking me to your workplace, keeping an eye on me, then taking me back home was not part of your job.

It was kind of you to do so and if you'd let me, I want to return the favour.

i don't need anything from you
least of all you butting in on my crap

[Perhaps deep down Ragna appreciates the thought, but his decision is final. With that, he considers the matter settled.]

my turn to ask questions now
what the eff was that shit that attacked us?

[ this reply takes a few minutes before it's sent through. souji's doing his best to remember what it was and if he could get any details about it from his memories of his other life but he can't provide much ]

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. I've faced it once before in my memories but I don't know if I've actually defeated it.

I just know that its name is Izanami, like the goddess of creation and death in Japan.

"goddess of creation and death" huh
the latter sounds fitting
it was pretty damn spooky

[Ladies and gentleman, understatement of the century.]

IC INBOX ➟ RECOLLE

early November

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