tarotcards | FOURTH WALL EVENT [VIDEO/ACTION IN ICE PATH]

Current Location: Ice Path

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FOURTH WALL EVENT [VIDEO/ACTION IN ICE PATH]

[So, sup guys? Here's another video feed into the mix, but this is OH MY GOD IT'S TRIPPY AS HELL WHY IS THE CAMERA SWINGING EVERYWHERE JESUS CHRIST I THINK I'M GONNA GET SICK-- kind of feed. It continues like that for a good five minutes, swinging everywhere, being dropped, picked back up, oh wait, swinging everywhere again, rinse and repeat.

When everything seems to calm down, you can finally get a clear of the bloody place. It looks like a cave but...is there ice and snow everywhere? Oh God, guess who got transported to the Ice Path in his pajamas? It's your favorite senpai, sensei, berry-eating trainer whose name begins with "S" and ends in "ouji 'Oh my God where am I' Seta".

He's...just sitting on the ice, having decided that maybe trying to get up is a bad idea after tripping everywhere. Oh God, his back. Oh God, his arms. Oh God, his head. Oh God, everywhere hurts. And it's so cold too. Who decided to transport him while he's still in his PJs? He's gonna die and freeze out here.

Oh, and you want to know what Pokemon he's tossed with? Here, checked it out:]

[FML guys. Just... FML. Out of all the things he got stuck with...he got the ones that liked slapping him in the face and HE'S SURROUNDED BY THE LITTLE ASSHOLES AHHHHHHHHH--]

H-Hey guys. I-I-Is everyone alright?

[It's really hard to talk when he's freezing out here. He's shivering between his words. That and his Magikarps won't stop flailing oh my God.]

Any-y-yone knows wh-wh-what's going on? I'm f-f-f-freezing out here....

[SOMEONE TAKE HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY]

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--!!

[He quickly turns, nearly tripping over his own feet and slipping. He stares in shock, surprise, disbelief, and horror. Is that him? But...those eyes-- No no no no, he doesn't have a Shadow. He got his Persona abilities through other means, not by accepting one. He shouldn't have one, but even if he did, why here? Didn't they appear in the TVs? Why Johto of all places? No no no no. This shouldn't be happening.]

...You shouldn't exist...

Huh.

[the shock souji's going through amuses him--and he chuckles again. he's pretty level on his feet, unlike the one in front of him, so it's with relative ease he approaches souji. laughing.]

What? Did you think you were special?

[He takes a few hesitant steps back, as hesitant as he could on ice. Even without the skin biting cold surrounding him in this Ice Path, just that laugh sent an extra chill up his spine...Did he ever sound like that? He didn't think his voice could even make a laugh like that.

With a heavy swallow, he shakes his head. No. No, he...he's not special. He didn't think that. The only reason why he shouldn't have a Shadow was because his is already a Persona. Shouldn't that be the reason? It...It isn't because he's special. The only special thing he has is that Wild Card ability, but that was different. It has been only mere chance he got that, nothing else.]

Izanami took care of you. You're Izanagi...

[the shadow comes closer, closer. it's almost as if the ice isn't even there--and nothing makes it happier than the emotions it knows souji is going through right now.]

Izanami took care of me?

[he smiles at that--though it's not a gentle one, not the ones souji does. it's cold, taunting, leering.]

That'd be nice, wouldn't it? But you know that no one would do that for you. You're left out in the cold... But you're used to that, right? I should know. I'm you.

[And with each step it takes, he takes another one back-- sliding, more than anything. He nearly slips over his third step, but manages to grab his balance. He stands up straight and tries to hold his shoulders up, but he finds himself only being able to convey his horror. He can't stop breathing rapidly through his nostrils and the cold air isn't slowing it down.

He flinches when it says the line he has heard so many times; "I'm you"". How many times has he heard it now? At least once from each member of his team, but how many times when he thought about his own Shadow saying it? Countless amounts when he has sat on his futon and daydreamed about it.

To be honest, he always has felt a little left out. Everyone has their secrets out in the open and they has been able to overcome it. What about him? He never has been given the chance. Izanami is the one responsible for that, and because of that, he still has to bottle up his secrets. He never has to experience the pain and difficulty of a Shadow. He bets that at least one member on the Investigation Team wishes what he has. But to him, it has always felt a bit...empty. Will they really want what he has after knowing how different it makes you? And what is it that Naoto said before? That a Persona is another being of yourself?

Then what does it mean if you can change yours by will?

That has always been one detail he found almost disturbing. He isn't someone who changes his personality to best fit another person's, but this proof of multiple Personae... This is why he has sat and thought about what his Shadow might have said if he ever had one. Will it say the same things that has troubled him so much? Will he be able to accept it before it overtakes him? Will it say that one line he has heard so many times-- I'm you?

He shakes his head again and tries to calm himself down. He inhales a deep breath of the freezing air, feeling it almost burn his throat. No, he needs to accept it. What will happen if it transforms here? He has nothing to protect him, nothing to summon, nothing to even use as a weapon. He knows he has to agree to make it leave, but...why can he not find himself doing so?]

They...My friends-- I'm not alone anymore. Inaba changed that. I'm no longer in the dark!

My friends.

[the shadow repeats every single word souji says--his voice dripping with taunts--disgust, almost, as he gets further to the root of the issue.]

I'm not alone anymore. No longer in the dark.

[it tilts it's head back, chuckling again. despite the cold air, it breathes with relative ease--calm. that's all it is.]

Who do you think you're fooling? You can't will me away with pretty words. I'm your True Self.

I'm not one of your "friends". You can't fool me.

[That laugh again. It sends yet another chill up his shine. He shouldn't sound like that. He never sounds like that. He can't sound like that. He isn't this kind of person that his Shadow is describing.

He has friends. He's has the whole team behind him and they has always been there for him, whenever it's been knocking him out of the way of a mortal blow, or someone he can hang out with. Even outside his team, he has friends there too; Kou, Daisuke, Shu, Naoki, they has been there for him. They has filled the empty gap that has once been his social life. They're his friends. They're here for him. They're-- They're--!!

With each word, with each chuckle, he feels himself losing his calm demeanor he has always had in these kinds of situations. Is this what his members of the team has felt when they has faced their Shadows? Has they also felt this sense of disagreement and fear? Souji always wondered, and now he's finally getting just a taste of it.]

They're not pretty words! Everything I say...Everything I do.. It's all true!

My friends has been there for me in the beginning. They support me and I support them back. Nothing you say will ever change that.

[at the last sentence, the shadow lowers it's face. it smiles, quietly, shaking it's head. when it looks up, it's laughing--and not calmly, like it had been. this laughter was loud, not quiet, and before long the shadow is holding it's head in disbelief.]

Seriously... You've gone through this before. You've seen how we work, right? And you can't even do this right. You don't know anything about yourself.

[it shakes it's head.]

They support you? I don't doubt you support them--but... when have you ever told them anything?

Let's talk, Souji. I need help, Souji. I've got a problem, Senpai... Sensei, I don't know who I am.

[and it stops, suddenly. coldly.]

I'm tired.

[No! He knows everything about himself! What do you know that he doesn't? You're just a Shadow, exaggerating every little flaw and regret he has. He already knows how this works. You don't need to tell him! Stop laughing! Just--

No.

He just needs to accept it. That's how it works. He...he can do this. He needs to calm down and just deal with this. He can do this right. He does everything right. After all, he's Souji. He's Senpei, Sensei, Partner, Leader. He's always expected to do it perfectly-- flawless. He's there in times when people need a shoulder to cry on or someone to spill their heart to. He always understands and he's always there. That's just who he is, and he doesn't mind that. Why doesn't his Shadow just understand that of him?

He stares at his Shadow, almost confused for once. "Tired"? What do you mean by tired? He's not tired by this. He's fine with having people rely on him. That's what a leader and senpai does, right? That's how it is.

He swallows deeply again and inhales another deep breath. He doesn't reply or make any remarks. He stands there, waiting for his Shadow to continue. For the first time since his stay in Inaba, he doesn't know what to say and to be honest, he isn't sure if he wants to say anything. Talking will probably only make it worse, so he just closes his eyes and lowers his head with clenched fists. Ignore it, Souji. Ignore it until he have muster up to accept it. Nothing it says will change your mind. Nothing.

Then why is it so hard to say "You're me"?]

[the silence is met with more silence, and the shadow sinks down, looking almost saddened. the change in mood is almost instantaneous; madness to sorrow, and it's no longer clawing at souji's very being.]

Even my own Self doesn't know what to say.

[it shakes its head; palms up to his forehead. souji's own face looks confused, and so does his shadow's]

Even I can't comfort myself.

[He doesn't reply, almost grateful for the silence-- grateful that his Shadow isn't throwing those sharp words at him, but the way it says nothing at all hurts just as much.]

You're me...You're me, you're me...You're me...You're...

[He voice almost shakes at each time he says those words, and his whole body too but not from the cold. Why is this so much harder to accept then he thought before? Why is it that he's hesitant in saying it? After all, a Shadow really is just another side of yourself, but when he's saying this--

--He doesn't mean it at all.

After all, how could he even agree to what it has said? After all it has said about his friends, himself, his life? But he needs it to go away, just leave him alone. He knows he doesn't mean a thing he says and it contradicts what he has just said earlier about "everything I say is true", but in sheer desperation, what can he do?]

You're me. You're me. You're me...You're me...You're me...

[the shadow shakes it's head. approaches souji, looming over him. the half-hearted attempts at his accepting it... it would've been better if he had simply rejected it, right from that start.]

That's pathetic. You've been through this so many times before. You don't understand. That Leader thing is all a front.

[because it is. souji doesn't understand. he says it, but he doesn't mean it--and that makes his words empty.]

Yeah, I'm you.

[it stops near him, brushing souji's shoulder.]

I'm you... and I'm sick of it.

["I'm you...and I'm sick of it."

"--I'm sick of it."

And that last line just snaps something inside him. All that quiet and restraining he has held onto, as little as it may be, it just broke in one fell swoop.

With one quick side-turn, he throws a punch as hard as he can towards his bastard-of-a-Shadow with his right fist. However, while standing on ice, he has no idea if he will hit his target or just miss, but for whatever it's worth, he isn't taking this harassment anymore.]

[and the shadow takes that punch--it lands on his cheek, and it pushes him to the side, right unto the floor. and the shadow takes it, smiling. this proved him right.]

Punching me doesn't make me go away.

[he stands up, rubbing the part souji had punched with the back of his hand--looking smug as ever.]

Forging those bonds... In the end, they were all one-sided.

[and the shadow takes this opportunity to punch back. it's swift, quick; more certain than souji's, but he only did it because souji had done it first.]

I'm done with this... Try denying me again.

[And just as how his Shadow has taken the punch, he does too. Landing exactly on the cheek just as his punch did, he falls back and slides across the ice floor. It's cold and wearing just a t-shirt and sweatpants for his pajamas, the rough surface isn't very kind to him.

He quickly gets back up, ignoring that raging pain around his shoulders from the harsh landing. Feeling a whole new surge of energy and almost anger, he makes he way over. Figuring that since he's sliding over there, he makes use of the extra momentum he gains to toss another punch. Of course, still with the same amount of uncertainty and low precision-- maybe even more --but as long as he got a punch, a kick, or even a tackle, he's fine with it.]

Denying you will only give you what you want and you don't deserve even that now.

I'll take you down before I accept you. That'll make us even.

Take me down?

[the shadow watches as souji approaches him; he can see the weakness, instability of the punch--and this time the shadow doesn't take it.

he catches it, crouching slightly to state, simply, smugly:]

Outside of the "Leader", without the strong front you put up in front of your friends...

[and he tosses him to the ground, then, on to the ice.]

You think you can beat me? I'm you.

[He falls onto the ice heavily once again, the rough frost layering it nicking and scratching his bare arms. He mentally cursed silently at both himself for being thrown so easily and that he honestly had nothing on him; nothing but a few useless Magikarps and the clothes on his back.

Pushing himself up once again to stand, he actually does place a hand up on his shoulder this time. He rolls it a few times and silently winces at the burning pain each time. When was the last time he has felt this? Not since when the team has fought against Izanami, but then, he always has had someone using a warm healing spell on him.

He closes his eyes for a few seconds and tries to run through his mind, reaching out for whatever Persona he could find. He has tried this countless amounts of times since he first has arrived in Johto and just as the last few tries, he doesn't find anything. No Mada, Odin, Norn, Kohryu, and definitely not Izanagi. After all, is he not right in front of him?

Dropping his hand from his shoulder, he opens his eyes and stares dead straight towards the Shadow.]

Shut up.

I'm not be as strong as everyone thinks I am, and I'm definitely not the perfect leader, I acknowledge that.

You may be my Shadow and know everything about me, but you're wrong on one thing.

[He lets out a deep breath.]

I'll beat you, even if I'm alone. I'll only accept you after that.

[the shadow doesn't move throughout this whole exchange--doesn't move, twitch, or even blink, seemingly; souji's sudden determination is not unexpected, but the fact he wants to fight makes an unreadable expression form on the face of souji's other. perhaps he's even... pleased.]

Yeah? [it's not the standard battle--it's not turning into a monster and souji doesn't have a persona to fight back with, but essentially it's the same.]

Let's try it.

I'll even give you first punch. [and now he's back to taunting, but there's no hiding the expectant tone in his words.]

[When his Shadow gives him the first punch, he hesitates for a few seconds. After that last careless throw, where he has been tossed to the ground like he a child a moment later, he has to make sure not to screw up again. He doesn't think he can take a couple more falls on his back without seriously feeling like he just has been blown away by ten Garudynes, that one weakness he never really has overcame even with changed Personae.

But he takes the offer-- as taunting as it is, and goes into an offensive stance. After a few breathes and deciding what to do, he finally charges at the Shadow. However, instead of throwing a punch like it has asked, he decides to try and just tackle it to the ground. After all, if he is going to throw a punch that will just make him fall to the ground, he might as well do an attack that will take the Shadow down as well.]

[and the shadow allows souji to tackle him; the impact sends them both sprawling to the ground. even as ice touches the back of his head, the shadow doesn't react.]

No Personas. Not even a sword. Kind of... primitive.

[it leans it's head back against the ice--before the shadow takes both hands and brings them to souji's shoulders, attempting to push him off]

[He flinches when his Shadow places its hands on his shoulders. Not to mention that it still aches from all those previous slips and falls, but just that vibe he has from it. Perhaps it's because they are ultimately one? But...this feels more like the times he has had all those headaches and visions, when Izanagi has been calling for him.

"I art thou.

And thou art I

From the sea of thy soul, I come."

Being shoved off-- something that he didn't even need since he didn't know how much longer he will even had stayed with its hands on his shoulders --he manages to find his footing and not fall backwards for once. In doing so, he makes sure to go into a defensive stance, but with one hand upon his forehead.

Why now? The last thing he needs is a headache, especially in an ice cave such as this. Perhaps because it was a physical touch from his Shadow that lasted longer than half a second of a punch, or is it just the longer presence of it? After all, didn't everyone on the team faint when the Shadow has gotten aggressive and fought back?

No, he can't let that happen to him now. After all, he's the one that asked for a fight and he's getting one. So, to prevent much of his headache getting any worse, he holds his stance and waits for whatever it can throw at him.]

Having trouble?

[the shadow stares, for just a very brief second. he lays where souji pushed him to, for a moment; his feelings to silence are already clear, so he takes the opportunity to taunt.

no, he wasn't shutting up. it bothers souji and he knows it--but he's not going to stop. not like that.]

Or are you overwhelmed by having to face Yourself?

[and he stops, lifting himself off the ground, and he is smiling.]

Aside from what people want you to be...

[he takes souji's stillness as an invitation to attack, and he does so, approaching the teen with full intent to harm him. he was holding nothing back, now.]

What

[aims a punch towards his face.]

Are you...

[another.]

Really?

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FOURTH WALL EVENT [VIDEO/ACTION IN ICE PATH]

that was a horrible pun get out

you love it.

no i don't they're worse than my horatio lines

... nothing's worse than that.

screw you mate you love my horatio lines

i do.

accept them; they are your true self

YOU'RE NOT ME also 1/2

no subject

WRONG ANSWER /SHADOW BOSS

FUUUU-

"Oh shi-- Shadow boss!" "I guess you're in one-- /sunglasses --SHADY battle" YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH

TERRIBLE. TEEEERRRIBLE.

DON'T YOU MEAN TEDDIBLE?

THAT JUST MAKES ME THINK OF "TEDDIE EDIBLE"

...WELL IF YOU WANT IT THAT WAY...I GOT MY FORKS AND KNIVES YUM YUM IN MY TUM TUM

OM NOM NOM

I CALL DIBS ON EYES. EYES TASTES BEST and wtf am i typing how do i type cool?

you so cool sensei... sparkles

...i think you just gave away your identity there...

... no way sensei

god...even i'm a better anon than you...and why am i still up at 5?

........ wow, ichi. WOW.