souji ❝useless bisexual grass eating furry❞ seta (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tarotcards) wrote2011-05-28 12:20 am
tarotcards) wrote2011-05-28 12:20 am
Entry tags:
FOURTH WALL EVENT [VIDEO/ACTION IN ICE PATH]
[ Oh hey, it's that Seta kid again and his stupid little video feeds. He's been around a lot over the network with his centre-house catching on fire, the Cleffamigos, and all that. Well, how about this one where the camera is GOING ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE OH MY GOD WHERE'S A BARF BAG WHEN YOU NEED IT--
After a minute of this flailing and what sounds like Souji doing a verbal keysmash, both the Pokegear and him crashes to the ground. Now with a steady and clear view, it seems as if his location is inside an ice cave- a very familiar ice cave.
Dressed in his casual wear, he slowly gets up, trying not to slip on the ice like he has done many times before in his last visit. In his last visit, he has arrived here in his PJs, so he's glad that he at least has a jacket and something thicker. Oh, let's check if he has his Pokemon on him. If it's just like last time, it's be six Magikarps. Let's seeee; ]
[ Screw you too, Johto. Screw you to Hell.
Well, Souji pulls his jacket closer and looks around. ]
Damnit, here again. Great...
[ As if the bruises and cuts from the attack a few days ago isn't enough, he'll probably get more from just slipping around here. He just hopes he doesn't meet anyone in here like last time... Well, let's go ask the network what is up. ]
Has anyone else woken up in a completely new place? Seems almost like in November...
[ Now, someone help him get to that nice rocky path and off this ice. ]
After a minute of this flailing and what sounds like Souji doing a verbal keysmash, both the Pokegear and him crashes to the ground. Now with a steady and clear view, it seems as if his location is inside an ice cave- a very familiar ice cave.
Dressed in his casual wear, he slowly gets up, trying not to slip on the ice like he has done many times before in his last visit. In his last visit, he has arrived here in his PJs, so he's glad that he at least has a jacket and something thicker. Oh, let's check if he has his Pokemon on him. If it's just like last time, it's be six Magikarps. Let's seeee; ]
[ Screw you too, Johto. Screw you to Hell.
Well, Souji pulls his jacket closer and looks around. ]
Damnit, here again. Great...
[ As if the bruises and cuts from the attack a few days ago isn't enough, he'll probably get more from just slipping around here. He just hopes he doesn't meet anyone in here like last time... Well, let's go ask the network what is up. ]
Has anyone else woken up in a completely new place? Seems almost like in November...
[ Now, someone help him get to that nice rocky path and off this ice. ]
no subject
Not at all. It's not why you never sleep. Always stressed about eggs, about who's sleeping, who's out late. It's not why you buy 8 cups of coffee a day. It's not why you're pathetically using a marker to confess your feelings to a guy who's so vehemently against that sort of relationship.
It's not why at all, right?
Because you're Souji Seta! The Leader. The Senpai. The Partner who wishes he was "Partner" instead.
Screw that. I'm sick of this. I'm so tired of pretending to be strong. Pretending I have no weaknesses. Pretending I know who I am. The wild card.
Hahahaha, yeah, right. What a fucking joke that is. As if not having a damn clue who you are or what you want in life means you're worthy of that title. A leader who can't be honest with the people that trust him isn't a leader.
It's disgusting. You're disgusting. I'm sick of this bullcrap.
no subject
[ "Just... I dunno, try to get more sleep. You're not doing this job alone, you know." ]
[ What did he do instead? Stayed up another few nights and dealt with a broken centre on his hands. A cup of coffee, one after another. Going to the bathroom, washing his face. Looking up at the mirror and going "it's not so bad. It'll calm down sooner or later." ]
[ He bites down on his tongue, trying to prevent himself from saying anything to just provoke it any further. He has seen this so many times before, he knows what to do. He needs to clear is head. This is just an exaggeration. A large blown up story of the truth. It's always true in the end, it's never a lie. ]
[ It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. It's never a lie. ]
[ Then if it's never a lie, why is it so hard just to say "you're me"? ]
[ He brings a hand to his face, covering his eyes and rubbing his temples. Clear his head, take deep breathes, clench then unclench, try to stay calm. Don't be like an idiot the last time. Don't think that punching it will be a good idea. That didn't go anywhere. Just take the time needed to accept it. It shouldn't take long, right? ]
[ After all, it's only speaking of the truth. ]
no subject
Oh, but that's not all.
I want to know who I am. Really. This is sickening. Sense of self doesn't come from everyone else. All this persona is? A facade to show the world, right? It's not even original. This isn't my facade at all!
Everyone calling the shots! Everyone deciding that the level-headed one should lead. It wasn't because they wanted you to lead, you idiot. It's because they were too goddamn scared to do it themselves. Yosuke? Lead the team? Yeah, right! HAHAHAHAHA. Lead them right to a dead end! That moron, if he was calling the shots, the shadows would eat everyone alive. An innocent man would be dead. Hell, the investigation wouldn't have gotten anywhere, that damn homophobe would have stopped a mile outside that sauna and never turned back!
Or Chie? What did Chie care? She never did. She went because she didn't have a choice. It wasn't about Konishi, it was about Yukiko. She had one thing to deal with, and she wouldn't have paid enough attention to finish the job. Hell, without OUR help, she'd be strangled by a cable wire.
Yosuke too, huh?
But you... no, you had no attachments. Everything was just taken in stride. Because what did it matter? The year would pass, and we'd be on our merry way, to the next place we need to be. Never a second thought. No contact again.
Just like every. Friend. Before them.
So suddenly, they look to you like the leader and then it matters? Everyone is worth saving? They're worth changing for? They're worth casting your own feelings and health aside just to appease how dumb they are?
Sure. They need you. They need me. At what price, Souji Seta?
[A pause, and then thickly.] Or maybe "Yu Narukami?"
Who are you again?
no subject
[ "Who are you again"? ]
[ He's... He's Souji Seta. He's born to a business couple and partners in Shinjiuku, Tokyo of Japan on March 20th, 1994. He's currently a high school student, just recently attending Yasogami High School for his second year. He's trainer in Johto and a breeder as his job. He's the proud owner of a well-received breeding centre. He's the loving leader of a team that has come out successful. He's a senpai of those who seek him out when they're in trouble. He's a sensei to the bear that knows no better of the society than a child. He's a partner to the one that has stuck with him for so long, the one that he's ridiculously making all of those stupid secret notes over a coffee cup. He's all of those and more. ]
[ But that's not what the Shadow wants to hear, is it? ]
[ He remembers how to breathe and how to move his mouth to form words, and ever so softly, he begins to whisper a chant; ]
You're me and I'm you. You're me and I'm you. You're me and I'm you. You're me and I'm you. You're me and I'm you. You're me and I'm you.
[ Though does he mean what he says? Does he actually? ]
[ If he is, will he be saying it over and over again as if he thinks repeating it might strengthen it or convince him overwise. ]
no subject
I thought I said it already.
I'm tired.
This is boring. It's all so shallow. Knowing them all so well doesn't make a friendship. Yosuke crying his pathetic little heart out over a girl who never liked him anyway -- what does that really mean? Falling for him? That's not love. It's pity. The poor boy can't get a girl, so maybe he'll settle for less?
A guy?
A guy who can't even acknowledge when he's beaten?
Maybe I should vomit on your shoes. Would you accept me then?
Face it, me. These "bonds," are worthless. All of them. Sooner or later, it'll be back to Japan. Nothing that happened here will matter. Coming "so far" with the people from Inaba, the new "friends" made. It'll all be forgotten in an instant. It's a waste of time. And then going back will bring nothing... those bonds? How solid can they be? Everyone will be split up. Soon they'll forget. It'll burn. Fade away.
Say goodbye now. Take a journey of self-discover. This is getting old.
no subject
[ Does that mean what he's trying here is for nothing? That he should just give up? Should he just close down his centre, lose contact with everyone, forget about that stupid cup of coffee? Should he just go back to the way he was before Inaba, doing the exact same thing? After all, this place... ]
[ It's just like back home, always moving from one place to another. ]
[ But if this place is somewhere he can enjoy just like in Inaba, that doesn't matter, and if that has taught him anything, it's just that. ] It's not a waste of time. Even if I'll forget, the time I spend here is still true.
My bonds with everyone is still strong with everyone even... [ Even if it's always him listening. Even if it's always him the one taking on the burdens. Even if it's always him trying to act so strong like he's some kind of hero. Even if all that, those bonds are still something to him. ]
no subject
I can see your doubts. I can hear them. What you think, I think, remember?
no subject
[ Of course it will. Isn't that how it has for his friends? Can it be the same for him? It will. It has to. ]
no subject
You should just admit how tired you are.
no subject
I'm tired of listening to you.
no subject
no subject
[ He turns and tries to leave. Just, away from listening to his Shadow. The last time it has appeared, he tried to punch it which hasn't gone well. So, will just leaving it alone be fine? If it wants to fight, fine, he'll fight. But if it lets him leave, then he's doing so. ]
no subject
I'll just destroy you, if I really have to.
no subject
And I'll defeat you like every other Shadow.
no subject
[With that, his eyes begin to glow brighter and the dark aura around him sparks larger.]
And here I thought you would learn from your "friends!"
no subject
[ But if he's going to go down, he might as well go down trying to beat his Shadow. ]
no subject
You won't win in fighting me. You're at a disadvantage without your friends. Don't you know? I'm the strongest of all of them, and you couldn't handle them alone.
Give it up! You'll just get yourself killed this way. And I know that's not what you want!
no subject
What else do you want to say?
no subject
Or should we talk about your precious partner next?
no subject
no subject
Hell, I can even overlook that he's only one more rejection away from turning into Adachi.
Because... why, again? Because I'm special? Because he got me a plushie once? Because he says something endearing once in a while?
But I'm too afraid. So scared of rejection, so scared of ruining this shallow friendship that I can't even tell him how I feel! HAHAHAHAHAHA
SO I'LL JUST HIDE BEHIND CUPS OF COFFEE, HOPING HE'LL NOTICE SOMETHING SO SUBTLE THAT SOMEONE AS DUMB AS HIM WOULD NEVER SEE!
Because... well, if I do that, the pain of rejection... of isolation would cut so deep, right?!
Don't make me laugh.
no subject
Shut up.
no subject
Why? Oh - right. I'm too stubborn to know when I'm beaten. Even when I set myself up for it!
Knowing - 'Oh, he'll never look at me the way he looks at Rise,' or thinking 'why couldn't his shadow had the problems Kanji's did.'
As if you'd stand more of a chance. As if it would change things. Saying questionable things doesn't make a man change his way of life. Partner is a nickname, never what he'll feel about me! He can't even get out of his own way fast enough when Kanji is questionable...
But it would be so nice would it? Let me just sink into him. Convince him. Let my lips do the talking until he understands that what matters isn't gender.
As if someone so shallow would ever believe that.
Heartbeat.
Heartbreak.
Does it hurt yet?
no subject
[ He knows what his Shadow is sprouting is true. He knows it and it knows it. Just look at it. Yosuke has been nothing but completely against a homosexual relationship. Well, who wouldn't? It's always known as the norm that guys like girls, not guys liking other guys. ]
[ Sure, it's around and it's generally being accepted, but Souji doesn't mind as much as what outsiders might think as what his partner might think. After all, who is Souji doing this whole stupid thing for? Blowing so much money on coffee everyday, always becoming hopeful whenever Yosuke takes the cup, getting crushed when nothing happens, and so on. Rinse and repeat. For almost two whole months, still nothing. Even he's starting to think that maybe he has see the message, but refused to acknowledge it because it's disgusting. ]
[ Who knows? ]
[ But right now, Souji doesn't want to believe that. He wants to believe that maybe Yosuke can change. It's him that he's doing all of this for. He wants to at least have some kind of hope that what he is doing is not for naught. ]
[ Can't he have at least that? ]
I still have a chance. I still have one even if it's small. [ As long as it's enough for him to at least hope for something, that's all he wants. Even if it's quickly fading away. ]
no subject
Though I guess it makes the arcana completely appropriate.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)